Déjà vu
A few months ago I had a dream that really bothered me. It bothered me because it seemed so real and at the time I really believed that it was real. When I woke up I was so upset that it was no longer happening and I closed my eyes just hoping for it to all come back again. But it didn’t. I told no one about this dream. It was, after all, just a dream.
Two mornings ago, remnants of the same dream came back to me. I was late so I brushed it off. What happened later that day frightened me. What I saw was just like the dream. The place, even the people… Up to now, I still have not come to terms with what it all means. It has been two days now and I still have not gotten over it. I stayed up all night wondering… why is this happening to me? Is it possible that the dream was foretelling a future event? Was the dream simply foretelling what I had saw that day? Or was it just that – a dream?
What is real? What is not real?
Like a child, I have cried all night…hating everything that I believe in, what I am, and what I have become. Part of what I heard that day was a prayer so deep, so profound… it resonated with everything that I felt – the questions, the hurt, that sense of desolation. I did not understand the language and I am not and never was a follower of the religion (nor do I plan to be one any time soon), yet it felt…comforting. At times like these, I wish I was a religious person, so that I would at least feel as though I had an answer to these questions or somewhere to turn to.
That is usually why people turn to religion, for hope that everything will be better. Most of us (myself included sometimes) can’t really deal with the harsh reality of that, so it is easier to have someone to depend upon and believe in rather than believe in ourselves… With that being said I hope you feel better your dream. Take care